More Feckin’ Culture from Our Motoring Correspondent
Treacle’s Belt Goes On Holiday
Are you sitting comfortably children? Then we shall begin.
Once upon a time on Twitter there was a little blonde called Treacle. You may be surprised to learn Treacle was not the young lady’s real name. Her real name was Wendell but her Twitter handle was @Eastanglear. One sunny day on Twitter a funny chap called @_Paul_And_ addressed her as Treacle and, like the sticky black substance itself, the name stuck.
Now, I should explain children that Treacle lived in the mythical land of Brandonia, surrounded by forest and short scary monsters called Tories. Tories were a wicked breed of animal; always finding ways of cutting and chopping things down. And we don’t like that do we girls and boys? No, we don’t!
So to return to the story; Treacle lived in a pretty little cottage right by the edge of Thetford Forest. She also had her very own blue Renault chariot in which she rode to work. She wished it was another colour but she had heard that red chariots were involved in statistically more accidents than any other colour*
One day Treacle was talking online to Miss Tracey, who preferred to call herself @TraceySpacey1 in the land of tweets. Miss Tracey lived in the exotic land of Mansfieldia, which was far, far away from Brandonia. Treacle and Miss Tracey were best friends in Twitterland but had never met in RL. Do you know what RL means children? If not, please go and ask a grown up.
*Treacle wishes she had not had four “incidents” in her blue chariot in the last two years. These were quite unrelated to the colour.