An Interview with Alice’s Liver

by pauland1707

There is little more likely to put the wind up your gusset than some saucy young pup phoning you up at half past three on a Friday afternoon and saying “hello, Jeff’s Bar and Grill (purveyors of Mucky Beer and Aubergine Fritters, reknowned in the Mirfield area for over ten years – “You can trust Jeff with all your Bar and Grill requirements”) we’re doing an expose on you on Channel 5/4/3/2/1*.

Whether or not the illustrious Jeff’s Bar and Grill has ever received such a call is open to conjecture.  And, speaking of opening hours, Jeff’s Bar and Grill is open from 11:00 ’til 11:00 (12:00 on Fridays, Saturdays and Bank Holidays), Sundays 12:00 ’til 11:00.  Make your orders at the Bar, Mucky Beer a speciality.  Yet if Jeff’s Bar and Grill ever did recieve such a call, the aforementioned saucy young pup from Channel 5/4/3/2/1* would have possibly carried out an interview with Alice’s Liver.

Here at _Paul_And_Land_, we like to think that we’re one step ahead of those expose-ist types.  Thus, and in that rather racy journalist type notion that they like to adopt, we’re going to pee all over their strawberries by doing our own Interview with Alice’s Liver.  In YOUR Face, Rupert “Craggy Bottom” Murk-Odd.

Here we go:

“Hello, I’m a saucy young pup from Channel 5/4/3/2/1* and I’m here to interview Alice’s Liver.  How are you doing Alice’s Liver?”

“… … …”

“I’ll ask the question again, Alice’s Liver, would you care to tell the viewers of Channel 5/4/3/2/1* how you’re feeling?”

“… … …”

“On that note, back to the studio.”

*Delete as necessary