Tea with Nige.
Nige, or as we like to call him “Oi! you softie fash fuck-wit”, would present something of a problem if he ever popped round for tea. For starters, what does he drink; Tea and Coffee are far to foreign, beer possibly but certainly not Lager, wine would be difficult as would Whisky (far too Scottish), Gin – Indian, Rum – Jamaican, Brandy – French. Fuck’s sake, Nige, what about a nice glass of cider? Rather dependant on what kind of apples were used in production. Vodka – no, Schnapps – no, Ouzo – I won’t even ask. Lemons are Spanish so no lemonade, same with orangeade, Coke – American. We could offer water but all these Water Companies are owned by Foreign Johnnies.
Tell you what Nige, just bugger off cos’ you’re a pain in the arse.