_Paul_And_Land_

More Nonsense From _Paul_And_Land_

Rock n’ Roll

Y’know, some people really need to watch their trigger finger when they’re on Twitter. Let’s take Ian ‘H’ Watkins (@IanHWatkins) as a prime example. Rock n’ Roll superstar ‘H’ thought it wise to give the world his opinion on the much criticised Channel 4 shock-umentary “Skint” and, given his words, we’re very fortunate that he has drifted into the world of has-been.

Mr ‘H’, along with his equally ‘talented’ friends Steps, had a string of hit some time ago, many of which are immediately forgettable. However his writing talents come straight to the fore with his opening parry: “DareĀ I watch Skint? #skint”. Smart words, perhaps you shouldn’t have.

Feeling emboldened, Mr H moves right along by adding “GET A FEKIN JOB!!! #skint”. One could almost forget that ‘H’ and his chums were probably, at some time, heroes, heroines and role models for the people put under Channel 4’s microscope. And they probably helped stuff their pockets, as well. But why let a few quid get in the way of a good rant eh?

Any way, moving right along which, if TV programmes in which celebrities bare their souls for a slack handful of moolah, is something Mr H has failed to do, he continues: “I hate the excuse ‘I can’t get a job’! There are plenty of jobs! It may not be a job you want to do but there IS work out there!!! #skint”.

Perhaps our former superstar, cushioned from reality, would care to spare a thought for some of Scunthorpe’s residents who have busted a gut in the search for work. It doesn’t drop into everyone’s laps, Mr Watkins, it actually doesn’t. Maybe you should try a few days in Scunthorpe, its a good town, like Liverpool, like Grimsby, like many other towns which have, for no good reason, been hung out to dry by successive Governments and their London-centric policies. That’s why Scunthorpe, and all those other places, are screwed and you, Mr Ian H Watkins, have the temerity to Tweet: “Stop their benefits… Then they’d have to get a job. Even one they didn’t want to do!!! #skint”. You don’t know this town, you don’t know it’s people, you don’t understand their situation. You only know what some biased Channel 4 programme has spewed out for your entertainment. And, Mr ‘H’, remember these people were, repeat were, your audience. Show some respect for them, perhaps they would agree with “Grrrrrrrrrrrr #skint”.

At least you got something right.

Err, Where To?

Much of what the racists chant is of the vein “go back to where you came from”. Now let’s take this notion apart. If we’re going to start forcing people back where they came from, there’s going to be a lot of discomfort for Mummies and Daddies. There’s also going to have to be some major advances in Molecular deconstruction. Hmm, problematic.

Perhaps this isn’t the level of “going back where you came from” that these ol’ boys crave, so what is it? And how far back are we going to go in this process? Some of these lads, bereft of shirts but not of body art, proudly sing what they see as their National Anthem; God Save The Queen. Whoops, wrong move. Her Maj is of German extraction, not that some of them appear to have a problem with German ideology of past times but she isn’t full Brit as they would advocate. So ta-ra love, off you pop.

And then there’s her hubby, Phil. Well he’s Greek. And if you think about it, they’re living off the State so the whole damned lot can bugger off. Supposedly.

That’s got rid of them, who’s next? What about all them there Protestants? More Germans! Well they would have been if Germany had existed at the time and those Roman Catholics, go on bugger off to Rome. Normans, France. On your bikes. Hugenots, ditto. As for all you Vikings, Valhalla awaits. Angles, Jutes, Danes, shut the door on the way out, same with all you Irish, Picts, Scots and Mongol bloody hordes.

Tell you what, let’s all just climb up a tree and come down, once in a while, to stone a woolly mammoth for dinner. Would that suit?