Euphoria 2.0

by pauland1707

So they’ve all done their jobs and, no doubt, will be clamoured over by the political classes snuffling at every chance to hang out with British success stories.

Hurrah indeed to Kenya’s Chris Froome, who is clearly British because he’s won the Tower of France sponsored by I-fell. Another bit of Africa will always be forever England thanks to Mr Kevin Peiterson and his mixed bag of Englishmen, including far to many Northern types.

Northern types, unless they’re playing a nice sedate gentlemen’s sport are problematic: how can one, for example, compare Lord Tennis of SW19 with that common sort, Wayne (that says it all really) Rooney?

Fortunately, for the political types looking to hang their caps on sporting prowess, there are some winning Northern types who are okay-ish for their purpose. Joseph and William Root suit the purpose well as they both have ‘not really that Northern” names. Likewise the Brownlee brothers from the historic (always a winner) city of York fit the bill and will probably join the Root boys in gaining the freedom of Middlesborough, Leeds, Elland, Morley or some such place of Northern clime.

And then there are the utterly useless, and clearly Northern types, who let the side down: Semi-scouse Mark Cavendish who failed to win the Tower of France final bit or Clint Westwood and his equally useless (but is he a Northern type or does he just naturally have no taste in trousers) oppo, Mr Thingie Poultice. No beatification for that hopeless collection, not this week at least.