Word up Bro, Anti-Establishment Trousers.
Huh-uh, so very cool, funky, trendy, where it’s at (or whatever the cool, funky, trendy, where it’s at word to describe cool, funky, … you get the message, smashing) with your hep (we are not going through that again, thank you) anti-establishment trousers, aren’t you? “What is this?”, we hear the massed ranked of ranked masses retort, “what is wrong with our trousers?”, “what have our trousers done so wrong?”, “lay off the trousers Man, you’re messing with my Karmic vibe”.
This is all just a little too much like an episode of “Last of the Summer Wine” for our liking so let’s move on apace. Rapidly, even, and with degree of speed. Yes, trousers, let’s have a little ‘out of the box’ thinking. Not that trousers come in boxes. Well they do but not individually which is kind of sad. Back in the day, boxes were more in fashion and you could use those boxes for stuff, like storing cotton reels or light bulbs or shoes. All very useful. Then some smart-Alec decided that the environment was important and boxes were anti-environmental. Hmm, several million McDogPoo burgers and their associated wrappers aren’t anti-environmental but the box I was going to use for storing dusters is. Maybe it’s something to do with profit but let’s not go there, eh?
Trousers, yeah well, trousers. Anti establishment trousers, the sort that are low slung revealing your crevasse to the world: “yeah, look at me, I’m bad-ass, I wear my trousers low, so you can see my crevasse”. That is actual poetry. Or the trousers so close fitting that a nice, cooling breeze is unable to waft northwards resulting in a overheating of those bodily parts requiring a nice, cooling breeze for added comfort. Let’s, ahem, go no further. But tight-fitting and low-slung, think about it, require less fabric. Yes, less fabric and, by extension, less fabric means more trousers for the manufacturer. And what does more trousers mean for the manufacturer? Why, more profit people.
So, let’s think about this for a few seconds all you cool people, get yourself some big trousers. That way you can really stick it to the man and be cool in the way that cool is meant to be. That is all.