Jayne Macclesfield

by pauland1707

Y’see, it’s like this: you get an idea so you scribble it down and Bob’s your Uncle, you’ve written a blog thingie. Even if Bob isn’t your Uncle, could be Frank, Jeff, Malcolm or even Roy, it’s still a blog thingie. Oh my word, what a horrible vision of the future, a world devoid of Uncle Roys and Uncle Barrys and Uncle Franks. People, have more babies and name them properly so that in the future we will have plenty of Uncle Dereks, Normans, Stans and Jeffs to go around. And if you are on the point of popping one out, stop for a moment and think about the future. Agreed Tio, Storm, Tyler and Attilla Bastard-Face Axe-Killer are pretty cool names but consider them prefaced by the simple word “Uncle”. Takes off just a sliver of the edginess, we think you’d agree.

Likewise, Chevaughan, Chantilly, Ocean, Sky and Bathsheba are pretty high up on the scale of modern-day hip but, really, can one expect any degree of respect from one’s nieces and nephews if one is to be known as Auntie Sky or Auntie Britney for example. No, you’d be doing the world a whopping favour if you named your bouncy little girl Vera or Pat or Maureen or Elsie or even Jayne as in Macclesfield. We think it’s safe to say that we have neatly moved the conversation to the subject of our choice in a somewhat deft manner. Hurrah for us: Jayne Macclesfield.

Buggered if we can remember what we were going to write about Jayne Macclesfield now. Oh well, that’s the way the biscuit crumbles, or something like that. It’ll come back. Maybe.

Blackpool, she went to Blackpool. Jayne Macclesfield went to Blackpool. Or was it the other way round: Jayne Blackpool went to Macclesfield. Damned if we know. There’s a lot of kids named after where their from: Chelsea, Paris, Brooklyn etc, etc and so on. There’s none called Blackpool. Or Macclesfield. Or Accrington. Stanley though*. Different ball-game and deafingly edgey.

Welcome to your new life Stanley. Enjoy.

*We tip our hats to the might of Wendell for the use of this “joke”**