It is far from often that the cold-hearted beggars who scribble these ‘ere words are almost brought to tears but thanks to the readership of _Paul_And_Land_ and the followers of @_Paul_And_ it almost happened. As many of you will be all to aware, our exclusively exclusive competition went live to an excited audience with prize as the prize and the possibility of fame beyond one’s wildest comprehension all wheeled out as the competitive competiteveness heightened. Even champagne, the tempting temptress with a beckoning finger err beckoning in a somewhat seductive manner, was thrown into the mix as competitively competitors competed for the competition prize.
But you did not let us down and we, ‘ere in the uppermost tower blocks of _Paul_And_Land_, are well made up because this most exciting competition has a worthy winner who is no-one. We are also happy to report that no-one actually entered. That is the level of our competitive edge; we do not have one. Perhaps if gravy or cheese or mucky beer had been amongst the prize then perhaps the result would have been similar because, if truth be known, all you beautiful people do not crave fame or personal reward.
The utter, utter failure of our exclusively exclusive competition is a testament to you, it shows how much you care about the more important matters of life: feeding someone else’s cat, enjoying the good weather, sharing some small pleasure with the world. That is good, that is very good, that is laudable and above all that is what _Paul_And_Land_ is about. Thank you everyone. And don’t for one moment think this is sarcasm, for it isn’t. This is our real and heart-felt thanks for showing utter disdain of that which our political masters would have us believe is an inherent quality in the population. Competitive edge? Not in our world thankfully.