Christmas 2020

by pauland1707

A damp, depressing and grey place somewhere in the US. It is Christmas 2020. A phone rings and it is answered.

BO: Oh yeah hello Vladimir, long time no hear.

Inaudible chatter from other end of line.

BO: Yes, that’s right, I would have sent a card but, you know, all this bunker ettiquette. Seven years, yeah times flies, only another fourteen to go.

Inaudible chatter from other end of line.

BO: We’ve been over this again and again Vladimir. No I don’t want another picture of you killing bears back in the old days. Yes, you loved bears, I understand, but no I can’t see there being any left. Of course you know I’m sorry about Mrs Putin but that was the deal. I waste Mrs Putin and you take out Michelle and the kids.

Inaudible chatter from other end of line.

BO: I know it was effective, Vladimir, but taking out the Mid-West states was a little over-zealous don’t you think. Just for three people anyhow. How in the name of all things could I appease the good old US of A…

Inaudible chatter from other end of line.

BO: Uh-uh, yes I got the MP3 of Ebony and Ivory, its very nice but the batteries have gone on my MP3 Player. And yes it is pretty cold but y’know a deal’s a deal.

Inaudible chatter from other end of line.

BO: Every year Vladimir, its the same. You drink your home made vodka and get emotional about Afghanistan and all that stuff. Get over it….

Inaudible shouting from other end of line.

BO: Fuck’s sake, you God-damned Commies. We had a deal for world control and you let me down with that Saudi guy. No Vladimir, you fuck off! Like proper fuck off.

Phone slams down.

BO: Next year, you bastard, we’re playing Risk.

Advertisements