January 17 2024

by pauland1707

A damp, depressing and grey place somewhere in the US. The anniversary of Michelle Obama’s birthday. A phone rings and it is answered.

BO: Hello Vladimir, I’ve been expecting your call. Yes, it would have been Michelle’s birthday.

Inaudible chatter from other end of line.

BO: Yes, I had Spam for my meal, it was as usual. How is your vodka? Have you not run out yet? That is a shame. Just thinking about your health, Vladimir. You do realise that in a few years, as far as either of us know, we’ll be the only two on the planet.

Inaudible chatter from other end of line.

BO: Just a little human contact, Vladimir, that’s all I’m implying. I know that you’re the man and that you don’t wear a shirt because the ladies idolised you. As a matter of fact I was just relaxing with a few thoughts of Michelle and some pictures that guy Cameron sent me a few years back.

Inaudible chatter from other end of line.

BO: Look here Vladimir, what I choose to do in the comfort of my own bunker is no business of yours. If I want to relax in that way, then that’s my choice. If you want to be crude then that says something about you. All that vodka has probably rendered you incapable anyway.

Inaudible shouting from other end of line.

BO: Every time it comes back to this. Just because Bill was playing away doesn’t mean that Hilary would have wanted to engage in the same way with you Vladimir. I agree, she was very attractive…

More inaudible shouting from other end of line.

BO: No Vladimir, you dirty minded bastard, I have never relaxed with thoughts of Hilary. She was a very good friend, nothing more and just because I couldn’t get you some pictures you go off on one.

Inaudible shouting from other end of line.

BO: Yeah, well fuck you too Vladimir. Metaphorically speaking of course. And stop sending me pictures of Russian Wives. I know they’re all dead. You made sure of that.

Click as other phone is put down.

BO: You wanker.