World Annihilation Day -1

by pauland1707

William is in a helicopter with a machine gun. Somewhere over Northern Syria. He has a headset.

WW: Katie, yah it’s Wills. I’m on a mission. The chaps often talk about their missions, gosh I feel like one of the chaps. I’m wearing boots just like the other chaps and, well wow, they’ve given me a machine gun and the box set of Ride of the Valkyries. One second.

William cuts off to fire machine gun.

WW: Sorry my precious, just went over an Al-Qaeda stronghold. Looked a bit like Daddy’s village but military intelligence told us that all these foreign Johnnies cover up their strongholds. That one looked like they were having a wedding. Not as good as ours, obvs, but still a bit like a wedding. They teach the buggers early out here as well. Whitewashing them with dreams of virgins and all that old nonsense. One second.

William cuts off to fire machine gun.

WW: Sorry about that, there was a chap waving his arms provocatively. Any way, the chaps want to know when they can pop round again. Another mission, they call it. Lugs had a great time, he says. As did Baldie and they just want to see the young ‘un. Oh, yah, can you get hold of Dad, get him to send round some of his apprentices. The lads say there’s a noisy toilet door. Makes a right racket, they said.

William cuts off to fire machine gun.

WW: Just another wedding Princess. They all look the bally same, these weddings. So what about the lads popping round then? I know things can get a bit boisterous but we have a hoot of a time, don’t we? And the lads are very close to you, aren’t they?

Inaudible chatter through the headset.

WW: What’s that? Not Junior? But he has such a good selection of reggae records and, well, the lads do rag him as he didn’t get invited last time. But whatever you say. Gosh! Goodness me these chaps are actually firing rockets at us now. That seems a little unfair of them. Maybe it’s the crown the lads make me wear, catches the old sunlight. Speak soon.