World Annihilation Day -2

by pauland1707

Central London. A plush office and David is on a Trimphone. Grey, two-tone.

DC: Barak, cut me a little slack could you. These G4S chaps still haven’t finished my bunker. It’s just not fair that I will end up as toast whilst you and that crazy Russian get to live. Really most unfair.

Inaudible screaming from other end of line.

DC: Yes, yes, I understand Barak. It was just a game that got out of hand. I left Branson in charge of the car keys and they got muddled up. How was I to know that you’d end up with Eric Pickles? But, I can tell you that you’re a very lucky man to have that Michelle, she’s quite some woman. I never knew you could that with a ….

Inaudible screaming from other end of line.

DC: Well try to imagine my position Barak, I mean Sam and that Berlusconni guy. She’s still struggling to walk upright.

Inaudible laughter from other end of line.

DC: Photographs? What photographs? I told my people to get those off the internet. Damn SERCO. They’re your people aren’t they? Why can’t they just do a job right for once. But to get back to my point of holding off World Annihilation Day for a week or two, I’ve got the army working on my bunker now. They think it’s a Command Centre. So much more easy than dealing with G4S.

Inaudible chatter from other end of line.

DC: Hmm, the badgers. I don’t know why he wanted them. It just seemed like a good idea at the time. Take people’s minds off of other stuff. I just thought that maybe he was going to make some hats or something, you know what these Russians are like.

Inaudible chatter from other end of line.

DC: Please Barak, I won’t let you down again. Pretty please with sugar on top. I’m sure that Sam, when she’s feeling able to involve herself again would be more than happy to accommodate but, right now, it’s still a little painful.

Inaudible chatter from other end of line.

DC: Pippa Middleton? No Barak, I just don’t have that much pull. And well, like Charles, you know. He’s a little crazy.

Inaudible screaming from other end of line.

DC: You’re right Barak, I am a useless prick. Just another week, please. I’m begging you.

Click on the other end of line.

DC: Fuck’s sake. Gove, you snivelling two-faced shit, get in here now. And get that bastard Lansley on the phone.