Strange to think but I actually feel a pang of sorrow for Ed Miliband. Well it’s actually more for his Dad but ‘Red’ Ed is implicated in it somehow. Seems like Britain’s favourite brand of toilet tissue, the Daily Mail, has been slurring Ed’s Dad’s name claiming that he hated Britain. Couple of issues here: one, if some newspaper started slating my Dad I’d be pretty pissed off too, and two (makes four, keep up these lines don’t write themselves y’know) us here at _Paul_And_Land_ reckon there’s a bath-tub more people who aren’t so keen on Britain. Let’s have a fumble about in these concepts and see where we end up.
First up, my Dad. Now if I want to call him a grumpy old sod, that’s fine because I know my Dad, I know his ways and yes, he can be a grumpy old sod. But he can also be the most amazing human known to all humankind. He’s my Dad so don’t question his unfounded dislike of Claire Balding, his constant referencing to Doncaster Rovers, his ability to fart theatrically or his taste in polyester because if you do, I’m going to get arsey. Same with young Miliband. I’m going to guess that Dad Miliband had his faults; an unfounded dislike of Claire Balding, constant referencing to Doncaster Rovers, an ability to fart theatrically or poor taste in polyester being possibilities but, yes but, he was still young Miliband’s Dad. Go ahead, young Miliband, kick some arse. Hard.
Now, hating Britain. Well y’see, more people than you can imagine probably hate Britain right now because of what it has become. Masses of people want to come here because it is a place they see as safe, tolerant and caring. And yes, indeedie, there are loads and loads of people who want to ensure that this ‘ere place continues to be safe, tolerant and caring. But they are not politicians. Nor are they policy-makers. Nor are they Circle, Serco, G4S or Richard ‘Sodding’ Branson. Get the picture?
And, in the same way that my Dad has an unfounded dislike of Claire Balding, these people; politicians, policy-makers, the CEOs of Circle, Serco, G4S and Richard ‘Sodding’ Branson, have an unfounded dislike of anything that resembles a caring society, a society that is tolerant and that looks after its young people, its elderly people and its people that struggle with problems. Unless there’s money to be made out of it. And that’s why I hate Britain because our souls have been ripped out of it and have been replaced by the money grubbing bastards who would probably sell their own fathers rather than laugh at their unfounded dislike of Claire Balding, their constant referencing to Doncaster Rovers, their ability to fart theatrically and their poor taste in polyester. Think on, we’re going to fart theatrically in the direction of politicians, policy-makers and the CEOs of Circle, Serco, G4S. With a bit of luck Richard ‘Sodding’ Branson will be overcome by fumes. Tosser.