Persons of the Peoples
If, like the rest of us, you rely on those sodding supermarkets that are open 24/7 (if they could, they’d add an extra day to get even more profit “Now open 8 days a week, 28 hours a day, with added automatic, non-staffed checkouts) you’ll get this concept. If you don’t get the concept, write it down (on a beer-mat or the back of a fag packet or on your hand) and then your won’t forget what it is that you don’t understand. Brilliant, you can have that for free. Right, here’s the concept.
You’re walking around your favourite sodding supermarket, piling essential upon essential in the wobbly trolley, when there it is, glimmering in the freezer section. You approach, your hand trembling, a bead of sweat on your lip, your bosom (if you have a bosom, that is) heaving. And yes, it’s true: your favourite frozen meal has an all new recipe. Will your life never be more touched? Thanking the Gods of Tesco, Asda, Morrisons, Aldi, Mr Singh’s 24 Hour News and Convenience Store (Macclesfield) Ltd, you tank it home to indulge yourself in the all newness of an all new frozen lasagne.
So, what is the all new recipe, what delights will tantalise your taste buds and pluck the strings of your digestive tract? Why, an extra half gramme of Maltodextrine and an additional sniff of flavour enhancer. Basically, you’ve been had, turned over, mugged, screwed and any other number of terms which describe the feeling of having been had, turned over, mugged or screwed. And then, horror of bloody horrors, you note that the actual all new frozen lasagne actually contains less lasagne than your all old frozen lasagne. What a sodding con and you vow to never darken the doors of Tesco, Asda, Morrisons, Aldi, Mr Singh’s 24 Hour News and Convenience Store (Macclesfield) Ltd again. Until next week at least.
So now we have Rachel Reeves, who supposedly is a Member of Parliament for the Labour Party, banging on about how the Labour Party will be tough on tough stuff. All of these politicos are always being tough on something: tough on crime, tough on the causes of crime, tough on welfare, tough on immigration, tough on the arses of the their trousers and frocks more like. All that sitting down and words coming out of their arses, trousers and frocks get a beating internally and externally. Oooh, she makes you angry, just like your all new frozen lasagne con-trick. But, as with the problems you experience with Tesco, Asda, Morrisons, Aldi, Mr Singh’s 24 Hour News and Convenience Store (Macclesfield) Ltd inasmuch as you have no bloody choice, the same is true with the all new Ms Reeves and her ilk. No bloody choice.
But, supposedly, there’s hope in the form of all new community types with their bright horizons of community stuff. And things. Well, gosh, yes, an extra half gramme of Maltodextrine and an additional sniff of flavour enhancer. Looks like we’re being had, turned over, mugged, screwed and any other number of terms which describe the feeling of having been had, turned over, mugged or screwed.
Fortunately, here in _Paul_And_Land_ we like a nice fresh curry. We make our own. It’s not frozen and it contains no maltodextrine or flavour enhancer. And we buy the ingredients from the market. Fancy some?