Lager Beer

by pauland1707

Hmm yes. Whilst meandering the highways and by-ways of _Paul_And_Land_ on the murky day several thoughts were skitting about in the head. Several involved cheese, another involved the potential effectiveness of Agent Orange as a domestic mouse repellent and yet another concerned George Osbourne and an industrial mincer. All good wholesome stuff here in the land of _Paul_And_Land_ and in the minds of it’s merry citizens.

Then, much to chagrin of this particular Citizen, a bunch of chaps, in lager beer, getting loud and fanciful. Loud because they were in lager beer of a tastefully named brand along the lines of ‘Testicle’ or ‘Killer Dog’ or ‘Shit Face’ or ‘Billy Bastard’s Psycho Cheap Lager Beer with added Vodka and Violence’. And fanciful because they were being fanciful with the ladies. Being in lager beer, possibly branded under the name ‘Testicle’ or ‘Killer Dog’ or ‘Shit Face’ or ‘Billy Bastard’s Psycho Cheap Lager Beer with added Vodka and Violence’ said chaps were of the opinion that the ladies would enjoy an evening to remember. An evening involving parts of bodies and other stuff.

Needless to say, the ladies were not in the least part interested as the imbibing of ‘Testicle’ or ‘Killer Dog’ or ‘Shit Face’ or ‘Billy Bastard’s Psycho Cheap Lager Beer with added Vodka and Violence’ had rendered the chaps, perhaps from its imbibement over some length of time, with certain physical attributes. Notably their tummies were of size. In addition their imbibement of the day had made them suitably incoherent and, no doubt, incapable of the charms they were offering. Still, they persisted until the line of chat from one resorted to the insulting. Suddenly, all women were lesbians (or actually lesmians given the level of ‘Testicle’ or ‘Killer Dog’ or ‘Shit Face’ or ‘Billy Bastard’s Psycho Cheap Lager Beer with added Vodka and Violence’ already taken) and this chap was going to show the ladies what they were missing.

Making a move toward the ladies, the fellow, unsteady through his Lager Beer, stumbled on a kerb and fell onto his rotund stomach. Rolling onto his back, he was floundering like a beached whale. The ladies tittered and began wandering off.

Thirty seconds in _Paul_And_Land_. And back to thoughts of Agent Orange.