Red Square and Testicles.

by pauland1707

News has filtered down finally of a fine piece of artwork installed in Red Square M0ss-Gow (as our American cousins would say).  Or perhaps not, get me Mr Obama in the phone pronto for clarification.

It would seem that ballsy Russian performance artist, Pyotr Pavlensky, was hospitalised after stripping naked and nailing his testicles to a Red Square cobblestone in protest against the Kremlin’s crackdown on political rights.  A video of the graphic action, available on Russian websites, showed artist Pyotr Pavlensky sitting naked outside Lenin’s Mausoleum being covered with a blanket by police officers while horrified passersby looked on.  The former Russian leader was not available for comment.

The Saint Petersburg-based artist said in a statement posted on the website that he was trying to draw attention to Russian society’s inaction in the face of the development of a “police state”.  Our hero is no stranger to pain as previously he sewed his lips together as a demonstration against the jailing of two female members of Pussy Riot and he was also arrested curiously after wrapping his naked body in barbed wire outside a Saint Petersburg Government Office.  No such goings on will be taking place in the bright sunny uplands of _Paul_And_Land_, we can assure you.  Although there is growing concern that a planned visit to our blessed place by Pope Gregory the Great (540 – 604) could be marred by overly loud singing and shouting and chanting and other things as the visit coincides with a visit by internationally reknowned soccer heroes the Botswana Meat Commission FC to play our own soccering heroes, The _Paul_And_Land_Arms_ Ladies First 11.

Big Helga from Crewe, who some of you may recall was at the centre of a tattoo scandal whereby a tattoo was tattooed upon one of our own residents untattooed body declaring undying love for Big Helga from Crewe, has been brought into the team at very little expense and will be shoring up the defence from the turret of her own Panzer tank, Maurice.

Although things are still at a hush-hush stage, Pope Gregory the Great (540 – 604) is understood to be a big fan of Botswana Meat Commission FC and so may have timed his visit accordingly.  Having being dead for over 1400 years he was unavailable for comment.

Tickets for both events are available from behind the bar of The _Paul_And_Land_Arms_ with a complimentary Pie and Pea Supper.